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As I said, I'm no stranger to fried chicken and I ain't afraid to admit it. The succulent taste of battered chicken dipped in hot grease, WHEW, I get the chills just thinking about it. Since moving to Sydney, I get a lot of friends noticing the "Australianisms" that I've picked up. But while in the States my wife picked up a few things as well. She's able to "speak with no Negro dialect unless she wants to have one", maintains an unhealthy affinity for Cheetos, and acquired a keen appreciation for that ultimate African American delicacy - fried chicken.
So it was with great anticipation that she left the house one evening with the dual intent of avoiding having to cook and sinking her teeth into some delectable Kentucky Fried Chicken. For me, I was so hungry that I would've willingly played the happy Negro in a KFC commercial to get my teeth into some chicken and biscuits. I was so excited I called twice and sent a text message reminding her to get me some biscuits!
Now by this point you should recognize that this story doesn't have a happy ending. First, the wife calls me to let me know that KFC Australia does not have biscuits. Damnit! Very disappointing but no where near as disappointing as what she told me next. Mands: "Oh also, KFC doesn't have any chicken." Me: "Ha Ha, what do you mean? You sayin they're out of dark meat?" Mands: "NO! They ran out of damn chicken! They asked me if I wanted a f-in burger instead!" Me (still confused): "But...but how does a fried chicken restuarant run of of chicken? That...that...that's like McDonald's running out of Big Macs." We haven't been to a KFC since.
Needless to say I have unfriended KFC Australia from my facebook profile. In addition I've retained counsel and intend to sue for false advertising. At least 3 of the "happy" Negros in the KFC commercial looks like they could be my cousin. My lawyer actually thinks I was in the commercial which is why he is convinced we'll win. Anyone coming to Oz add some Popeye's fried chicken to my request list.
Happy New Year. Black2Oz out.
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We need to import Popeye's...KFC just ain't as good! Of course, they'd probably call it Popeye's Chicken and Savory Scones:\
ReplyDeleteAh brother in law, KFC is my client...you want great xmas presents next year, you betta suck it up about the biscuits and eat those burgers!
ReplyDeleteDont worry Jones.... last time i ate that stuff i regretted it about 30 minutes later. It was a blessing in disguise. Go back to the South Restaurant and have some of their Buffalo wings..... heaps better!
ReplyDeleteSoooo, seriously - they just don't have fried chicken at Kentucky Fried Chicken? wtf? I think you're justified in suing.
ReplyDeleteTrent
Now that's a cryin' shame! No worries though you guys can eat your hearts out at the KFC on La Brea & San Vicente when you come to LA, that is if you're willing to forgive.
ReplyDeleteXO India
KFC with no chicken....BOOOOO Down Under! I'm never going now!
ReplyDeleteByron
mmm... popeyes. but seriously, eat more McDonald's and drink lots and lots of Coke.
ReplyDeleteYou will be happy to know that Ewing has recently become fried chicken capitol of the world. A fried chicken joint on every corner! See you when you come home. Bring your bib!
ReplyDeleteLarry
Touch break on the lack of fried chicken in Oz, Uncle Chris. Even South Korea had a decent selection of KFCs, although they were up in Seoul which was a good 6 hrs from me but you get what I mean.
ReplyDelete-Vel
Well we live in Adelaide and theres fried chicken here. you missing out. hey everyone. My names Renee, Im the Oz my husbands name is Matt he the american. Finally stumbled across this site and we love it. mmmm Popeyes, buffalo wings, red lobster yummm i miss them all so much but we have found a few places to get us by especially our BBQ ribs try outback jacks... awesome ribs!
ReplyDeleteIf you guys are getting your chicken fix from KFC it really is bad. Last time me and my dogs ate some KFC, we all had the runs. I don't touch the stuff.
ReplyDeleteK. Herring
You are hilarious. And here's the thing-- I know people at KFC Australia-- important people, and I am so going to dog her out on this! Who knows, maybe they'll send you a family size bucket to your house to make up for it? Not that I know where you live or anything.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to read more of your blog now, but am feeling a little disappointed that you last posted in January. Cheers mate.
I entered this site by chance, but I found very interesting. A greeting to all the people who visit this page.
ReplyDeleteI relocated to Sydney from Atlanta, GA just over a month ago and I am already going through withdrawals about all things Southern. I would love to connect for some key information (ie. where to get my hair done). Feel free to email me at lnlewis212@yahoo.com!
ReplyDeleteKyishia
Lol what an odd parallel.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first visited the US from Australia I stayed with my then girlfriend (now wife) in her home town of Victoria, Texas.
She's a vegetarian so we eat differently and one night I decided I wanted some KFC.
We went out to the local KFC only to discover that THEY TOO had run out of chicken and I was also offered a burger (except that hey called it a "sandwich").
I was also appalled that they didn't sell chips (fries).
Funny story. I lived overseas in a Carribean country and the Burger King frequently ran out of burgers. lol
ReplyDeleteThe world can be an evil place when KFC does not serve chicken.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the lack of chicken at KFC.... Wait a minute WHAT????? But that's ok. When I want Fried Chicken I'll make it... With greens, and cornbread. I'm going to start a riot in Oz when I get there and make it for my wifes family
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